On The Tuesday Truths

And I want to break up with you, But sadly, you are Me.

I am tired

Of killing myself,

By omission,

By self pity,

By self destruction,

I am tired

Of saying that I'm tired

Every darn time,

But end up reverting back to my dark ways

That I'm back to my sad rhythms and poetry,

I'm tired of being a sad song,

That's too sad to make everyone

Too sad to take it out from loop,

I am tired from loving you,

Actually not you,

But our memories,

I guess it's like what Ellipoet said,

That I'm beautiful,

Only that I'm looking at the wrong mirrors,

But all mine are broke El,

Can't you see that?

All mine are shattered,

All mine show a broken broken broken self,

Now tell me which mirror I should use,

Or maybe love did me a cold solid,

And Cupid only did hit one of us,

And I am guessing it's only me,

Because it's my heart that's dying,

It's my heart that's failing to beat,

Skipping one out of every two,

It's my heart that's bleeding,

Chocolates for blood,

Draining me of my original glow, and enigma,

And the shattering sounds of tears,

Shouldn't be heard,

And it's this reason,

That I want to break up with you

I hate how you drag me down

and make me feel like nobody would want me

I want to break up with you

I'm tired of how you deny me food one time,

and feed me way more than I could handle the other time

I want to break up with you

When I decide to dress up and slay,

you tell me that that ain't me,

then you cover me in drag clothes once again

I want to break up with you

I wanna work, I wanna create,

I wanna feel, I wanna love,

I wanna be free to be me but you won't let me

What did I do to you to deserve this?

Was the walls that I broke to let you in

Not enough for you to see my rubbles,

But I should have seen from the ends,

That that would be the end of me.

I want to break up with you,

You call me by names that even my parents didn't give me,

You keep reminding me that I'm ugly,

That my teeth are yellow and weak, and pretty much distorted

That my skin sucks,

That my sense of fashion sucks,

That I'm as dark as hell and nobody would ever want me

'Cause I ain't aesthetically pleasing,

You remind me that no one would want to hang out with that boring girl

Who doesn't smile or talk to anyone but herself,

It's not like I don't already know these facts,

It's that; why do you keep rubbing it in?

I want to break up with you

I think of all the opportunities I've wasted being by your side

And the number of times you tell me that I ain't shit,

But I still am shit,

I want to break up with you

You've tied me away from the world

And told me that it's because no one actually gives a fuck about me ever,

And you keep telling me how I should have just gone ahead

And killed myself back then 'cause right now,

I'm just prolonging my own suffering,

Oh well, daisies are red,

Violets are dead,

Boo hoo for me,

And poetry hates me too.

Or whatever they say, or recite or whatever,

You keep telling me that the only way I'd make headlines is if I'd kill myself,

But then again, no one would want to know who is even in those lines,

They'll just want to know the juicy aspect of the story,

Say how mental illness is real and move on with life

Say how she's a crazy bitch,

To be honest,

I want to break up with you,

I just hate you,

I hate what you've turned me into,

I hate how I'm not what I should be,

I hate how broken you make me feel,

I hate how I'm just a stupid pawn

I hate me,

And I want to break up with you,

But sadly,

you are

Me.

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#people_are_dying_to_suicide

#suicide_taking_our_youths

#self_hatred_self_death_awareness

Post Tags mental health selfhatred suicide